Not Prepared To Lose
by Smithy44
Summary: Naomily 3shot! Will Naomi keep her cool or finally break her silence over Emily's new "friend" Mandy? Read&Review!
1. Chapter 1

**Just wanna say a BIIIG thanks to everyone that reviewed my one shot, your all fantastic people obviously lol This is gonna be a 3 shot, so leave me a comment let me know what you think. We all hate Mandy right?...go on read it!**

Naomi didn't want to sit and watch. It was painful and the jealousy inside her was already killing her. Although she had no right to actually stop what was happening, she had to control her legs from marching over and demand for her to stop. Emily was hers, no one else was allowed to touch her, or look at her with lust in their eyes. They were meant to last and spend more and more happy summers together, travelling around the world and just making each other incredibly happy. All of that was gone, it felt like they had built their relationship up only to watch it crash down in front of them. Emily was hurt and Naomi knew she was a complete fuck up.

Freddie had decided to have a party at his house while his dad was away for a job, more and more people seemed to pile in making the atmosphere smoky and sweaty. Ever since Effy got out of hospital it seemed he spent all his time making sure she was okay, sweet really if you think about it. Effy looked at him with complete love and adoration, just like Emily once looked at Naomi.

The music continued to thump through every wall in the house, the drum and bass echoed around Naomi's head as she watched her girlfriend flirt with another girl. They had met once a few days ago when Emily insisted she came round to hang out, Naomi took an instant dislike but smiled and gritted her teeth until she left. The girl was tall and all arms and legs, her caramel coloured skin and dark hair were her best features. Naomi knew she was better then her yet she couldn't help but feel jealous at the attention Emily was giving her, the way her hand would occasionally touch her arm, and the sneaky side glance she would flash at Naomi.

Naomi lit another spliff and downed a shot of vodka. Her eyes scanned the room as she inhaled the fumes of weed, everyone looked like they were having a great time. Everybody except her. Even JJ had a girlfriend, he deserved some happiness and normality more then anyone but that didn't stop Naomi feeling jealous. That somebody else was in love and settled. Drugs and alcohol were becoming apart of her everyday life, it was the only two things to get her through the days. Emily refused to talk about anything, whenever Naomi plucked up the courage to try and engage in some conversation Emily would turn the other way. It was obvious Emily's heart had been completely destroyed, but she hadn't walked away, that gave Naomi hope.

"Enjoying yourself babe?" Cook shouted over the loud music and lit a cigarette. He turned his back on Freddie and Effy choosing to ignore the lovey dovey bubble they were happily in. Cook couldn't deal with pain, it was too much hassle and heartache.

"Yeah having the time of my life" Naomi replied sarcastically rolling her eyes. She caught Emily's brown eyes for a second and felt her heart drop into her stomach, her baby browns were almost begging her to do something, to fix things. But Emily would never let her, every emotion was still so raw and agonizingly painful.

"Who's that bird with Ems?" Cook asked looking the girl up and down.

"Mandy, Emily's new friend" Naomi took a deep drag from the spliff. The room swayed slightly but she felt more relaxed and comfortable.

"Looks like there getting friendly" Cook pointed out, although a blind man could see how painfully obvious that they were flirting with one another.

"Yeah" Naomi breathed taking another drag. Having hurt Emily so very badly, she knew she deserved some kind of pay back, Emily obviously wanted revenge and make her feel just a tiny bit of her shattered heart. It hurt badly, so bad that Naomi could feel the tears building in her eyes as the redhead laughed loudly at something Mandy whispered in her ear. Fixing something so broken and trying to salvage it back together was proving a difficult task, maybe even impossible.

"I wouldn't take that babe, she's your woman yeah? You should fucking tell her to do one" Cook said seriously grabbing three shots and downing each one, the boy was a human drinking machine. "Get a fucking back bone Naomi, don't sit there and take that shit" he added. Cook's attention was quickly snatched away by some slut in a mini skirt, "Better let the ladies know there's enough of The Cookie Monster to go round eh?" he grinned following the girl and wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

Naomi sighed and finished the spliff, the loud music no longer bothered her as all her thoughts seemed much louder. The blonde rubbed her temples and let out a sigh, she no longer had any say what Emily was to do, she had no right to stop her from shagging anybody to be fair. Naomi watched as Emily broke away from Mandy, she smiled at the taller girl and made her way to the drinks table.

"Having fun?" Emily asked reaching for the bottle opener.

Naomi stood up and crossed her arms, "Yeah im having a fucking great time Emily, watching you shove yourself on some slag" she snapped, she had enough of all this childish shit. "Are you trying to make me jealous?" she asked.

"Is it working?" Emily threw back raising an eyebrow.

"Fuck it. I'm going home" Naomi pushed past the redhead only to be roughly grabbed and pulled back.

"No you fucking don't. You can sit there and watch, maybe you will feel how I feel" Emily let go of the blonde's arm, her eyes held a glaze of fury as she stared at Naomi. "You don't get to run away from this".

"I don't want to runaway, I want you!" Naomi admitted holding back the tears.

"Should of thought of that before you shagged someone else" Emily sneered, the anger in her voice made the blonde wince.

Naomi felt her chest cave in as they held eye contact, the girl she once knew was no longer Emily, not the Emily she loved and wanted to spend time with. She had turned her into a mass of pain and heartache, she had done this to her, she was to blame for Emily's crushed fucked up world.

"Everything alright Ems?" Mandy strutted over taking the beer bottle from Emily's hand..

Naomi stared at Mandy as she used the nickname that she always uses for Emily, she had no right, she didn't know her like Naomi did, she knew nothing about her.

"Yeah, yeah everything is fine" Emily broke eye contact slowly and took a swig of beer. "I'll be back in a minute" she told her.

Naomi swallowed the lump in her throat, she watched the girl walk off back to her friend, she clenched her fist turning her knuckles white.

"Are we done?" Emily asked.

"Don't do this" Naomi blurted out. "What do you want me to do? Whatever it is, I'll do it" she promised, her eyes swimming with hot tears.

Emily bit her lip, she quickly wiped away the tears, she didn't want to cry, not now. Naomi still had her heart, she had no idea how to let her in again.

"I wont back down, not to her, not to anybody. She doesn't know you Em, she cant love you like I do, I know I fucked up but don't fucking do this" Naomi let the tears fall exposing herself completely to the girl she always loved. "You got a chance to make this stop, its already gone to far Emily" Naomi shook her head.

Emily's bottom lip trembled, "Naomi.."

"Emily, you coming?!" Mandy called from across the room.

Naomi could feel the redhead slipping away, would she really loose her for good? Would she ever get the chance to make it up to her?

"Em" Naomi said softly tilting her head to the side, anything to try and get her girl back.

Emily said nothing but slowly turned away from the blonde, it took all her energy not to break down on the spot and jump into Naomi's arms. She clenched her jaw and let out a shaky breath, she wasn't choosing anybody or taking sides, she needed time and Naomi was either to wait for her or leave.

Naomi felt sick as she watched Emily walk over to Mandy, she blinked several times making sure she was seeing things right. Her stomach tightened with pain, she had no idea it was possible another person could hurt you so badly. It was then that Naomi knew exactly how Emily felt, the indescribable pain, anger and jealousy all mixed together waiting to explode.

Naomi turned away and barged past the drunken crowd. She was heading home, without Emily. Without drunk Emily, without stoned Emily, without angry Emily. Just on her own.

**Will Naomi finally loose her temper and fight for Emily? Leave me a review and I'll upload the next part soon! ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! Didn't expect so many comments so thank you guys! I was a little disappointed with the fight scene between Naomi and Mandy, so I wrote it how I wanted to see it. Leave me some love and enjoy this chapter!**

A few weeks had quickly flown by and the atmosphere in the Campbell household had got worse. Naomi spent most of her days and evenings either stoned or completely blind drunk, whilst Emily hung out with Mandy flaunting her in the blonde's face. Emily liked Mandy, she liked the fact the girl was much more into her then she was. It gave the redhead pleasure knowing that somebody else wanted her. Watching Naomi off her face hurt Emily, most of the time she looked so out of it she was surprised she could stand up and remember her own name. Katie Fitch had even commented on the state of Naomi, Emily knew at some point things were going to explode between them, it was all a waiting game.

Naomi stumbled into the living room holding a bottle of wine and a can of beer, her eyes widened slightly trying to adjust to the sunlight. Its not that she didn't like Mandy, she hadn't bothered to get to know her, or really even talk to her much. Emily seemed distant from everybody, Naomi couldn't remember the last time she saw her girlfriend smile.

"I've got wine, lots of wine!" Naomi slurred regaining some balance by leaning against the back of the couch.

Emily glanced at the blonde, she looked so completely trashed and the clock only read one in the afternoon. Her eyes flickered over to Mandy sitting uncomfortably on the armchair, they exchanged a half smile, it was far too early for all this shit again.

"Come on!" Naomi grinned making her way over to sit down. As she put the bottle of wine down she cracked open the can of beer and lit her forth spliff of the day. "What's the matter with you two eh? Its like..only like really early" she shouted squinting her eyes at the clock on the wall.

Emily's eyes watered at the state of her, she had drowned in guilt and now clearly didn't give a fuck about anything. As the smoke made its way around the room, Emily opened the window widely trying to let the fresh air in. "Don't you think you've had enough?" she asked, her voice laced with concern as she watched the blonde take a long drag of the spliff.

"Nope! This is meant to be a fucking party, you know with dancing!" Naomi replied clumsily getting up on her feet. "What shall we have" she spoke to herself as she placed a CD into the machine.

The music quickly blared out of the speakers, Emily was sure the people across the street could hear the noise.

Mandy gathered her things and stood up, all of this was a fucking mess, she no longer wanted to be messed around by the redhead. "I'm going" she announced slipping her jacket on.

Naomi turned around, she wanted everyone to let loose and have a good time, she couldn't understand why nobody wanted to be around her. "Where are you going?" she yelled trying to find the volume control. "Why is everybody leaving?" she whined tripping over the rug, luckily Mandy stopped her fall.

Emily brought her knees up to her chest and let out a sigh, she wondered how long things were going to stay this fucked up. If her heart was ever going to be ready to forgive the blonde, every time she tried images of Sophia would pop up.

"I've got to go, got things to do" Mandy replied.

Naomi's head spun, she placed her hands on the girls shoulders and laughed. "No no! Stay, come on, lets get fucking wasted!" she smiled turning to the redhead sitting by the window. "Emsy's got a fucking face like thunder, and I want to dance!" Naomi raised her hands in the air and whooped with joy.

"I'll walk you to the door" Emily mumbled, Naomi was beginning to get out of control and Mandy didn't deserve to have her afternoon wrecked by her. As Emily stood up the blonde grabbed her arm, she watched Naomi giggle and loose her balance, luckily Emily was quite strong for such a little person, she managed to keep the blonde on her feet.

"You want to party don't you Em? Its all been a fucking party, these past few months have been nothing but fun fun fun!" Naomi nodded, she swayed on the spot. "Emily doesn't love me no more do you? Because..because I was, I cheated!" Naomi stammered pointing to herself.

Emily could no longer take any more, she had had enough of all this shit. Her bottom lip trembled as the tears built in her eyes, was this really the end for both of them?

"I bet you would fuck her if you was gay wouldn't you?" Naomi turned to Mandy. "Get your own back!" she cut her eyes at the petite redhead.

Mandy couldn't help but laugh, it was funny that Naomi had no idea that she was gay, she thought she made it obvious.

Emily had truly had enough of all the pain and anger, she didn't want to cry and get upset in front of the blonde. Pushing past Naomi she walked into the kitchen, she held her head in her hands and let out a heartbreaking sob, things were beyond fucked up.

Naomi watched the redhead flee the room, she stumbled and turned around to face the dark haired girl in front of her. "I was just saying!" she told her, putting the spliff out in the ashtray.

Mandy put her bag down, "Naomi, do you even want Emily?" she asked taking a step closer. "Because if you don't, I do" she confessed.

Naomi frowned trying to process what the girl had just said, everything suddenly clicked into place. Mandy was gay and she wanted Emily. Her Emily.

"You don't deserve her. Not after what you did, I would treat her right" Mandy explained.

Naomi felt the rage and jealousy cut through her body, this girl was trying to take Emily away from her. Their eyes met and Naomi's sparkling blue eyes flickered with anger, she raised her hand and quickly swiped Mandy across the face.

The sound of the slap echoed around the room, the shocked girl touched her tender cheek feeling the sting.

Before the pair could say anything else, they both found themselves in a full on fight. Mandy had managed to grab a handful of blonde hair, she yelped in pain feeling a knee to the stomach. The two bashed into the wall whilst holding onto each other, vases and ornaments smashed to the floor.

Mandy's fist quickly collided with Naomi's face, she watched the blonde fall against the wall whilst holding her bleeding nose, her eyes were wide and she panted for breath.

Without another word Mandy grabbed her things and ran out the door, she slammed the front door shut behind her, things were fucking crazy in that house. Maybe Emily wasn't worth it she thought.

Naomi felt her heart beating in her head, she lowered her hand from her face catching sight of the blood, she hadn't felt it much. She couldn't really feel anything any more, everything felt numb and cold.

Sitting against the wall she reached for a cigarette and let the music wash over her. Her mum was due back in less then a week and the whole house was trashed, hardly enough time to clean and get it back to normal. Naomi didn't care, she didn't care about anything any more. Everyday she felt she lost Emily a little bit more, the guilt and shame had suffocated her, how many more apologizes could leave her mouth?

* * *

Emily felt a headache looming, the music thumping through the walls were not helping in the slightest. It had been a hard choice to make, living with Naomi after finding out she cheated. She knew her family would gloat about how the blonde was no good for her, that they all knew that she would break her heart eventually. Emily refused to let them win, she wanted Naomi to prove herself, to prove that she wanted their relationship to work as much as she did.

Watching Naomi slowly falling apart was something Emily couldn't stop, after all the pain she had put her through, she deserved to feel it.

Emily wiped her face with the back of her hand and inhaled deeply, she ignored her running mascara and puffy face and made her way back into the living room. The redhead winced at how loud the music was, you could barely hear the lyrics over the extremely annoying bass.

"Mandy's gone, gone away!" Naomi said with a hand gesture once the music had been switched off.

Emily turned around, her eyes studied the broken glass on the floor, then she saw Naomi's bloody nose. "What the fuck happened to you?" she asked carefully making her way over.

Naomi took a long drag from the cigarette and shrugged, "Got into a fight and then she left. Didn't tell me she was gay did you Em?" she said nothing as Emily took the fag from her hand and stubbed it out. "Said she wanted you".

"Come on, lets get you cleaned up" Emily said pulling the blonde up off the floor.

"I could've had her"

"Yeah if you weren't so fucking wasted"

"I'd take a fucking million punches for you Em"

Emily entwined their fingers as she led Naomi towards the bathroom. Emily knew she loved Naomi, more then anything and anyone in the world, she had given her every part of herself only to feel nothing but pain these last few months.

The silences. The not talking. The pleading stares the blonde would give her begging for another chance. That feeling in the pit of her stomach when the day gives into night time, and she cries alone in her lovers empty cold bed. The way Emily's heart hurt when seeing Naomi trashed and out of control, she hated not allowing herself reach for her so they could try and heal together.

Well Emily had truly had enough, she knew she had to make a choice. Forgive Naomi, or walk away forever.


End file.
